The Sometimes Heartbreaking Act of Making a Baby


I’ll never forget when we, as a married couple of five years at the time, decided, okay we’re ready. We’re ready to have a go at making a baby. It wasn’t an easy decision. At 29, we still weren’t ready to “grow up.” But we weren’t getting any younger. And ultimately, we did want children.

What I didn’t know, was how very hard and emotionally gut-wrenching the following two years would be. Infertility, or just the sheer inability to get pregnant, no matter how hard you want it, and no matter how hard you try. And everyone’s experience is different and painful. Here’s mine.

Baby making time

So here we go…let’s do this. Let’s have a baby. Six months go by. A year. Another 6 months. We tried EVERYTHING. I used a basal thermometer. Watched my menstrual calendar like a hawk. I became Maude from The Big Lebowski after she and The Dude had sex. Rolling around on my back with my legs up near my head thinking, sure, this will somehow help. And no, I’m not kidding. I actually did that. Many many times.

And still no baby.

My husband had his sperm checked out. It was normal. He was fine. It was me.

Meanwhile, all of my friends were getting pregnant without trying hard or not trying at all. You know, the women whose husband or partner breathes on them as they walk by, and poof they’re pregnant. I was SO quietly resentful. My husband was told of new pregnancies in confidence… “don’t tell Heather, she’ll be upset.”  And they were right. I’d just cry every time I heard of someone else having a baby.

I hadn’t wanted to try an intervention with medicine. I’ve always been more of a naturalist. I had this mantra, it will happen if it’s meant to. I finally bit the bullet and started the process to “get medical help” after 22 months of trying unsuccessfully.

Enter…medical intervention

The first procedure was a hysterosalpingogram, or HSG, a test that diagnoses blocked fallopian tubes. Basically, a blue dye is injected into your uterus and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes, they take x-rays and see what’s going on. And they didn’t see anything unusual. Sometimes this procedure “flushes” the fallopian tubes (I wasn’t aware of that at the time). Next step was deciding what my clinical plan would be to get me pregnant.

No joke, I got pregnant a week later. The likely prognosis: a blocked fallopian tube due to abnormal tissue growth from a past procedure.  Bingo!! This simple diagnostic test made me a mother for the first time. It was too easy. 22 months of emotional heartache could’ve possibly been avoided. But, c’est la vie! I’m having a baby!

I’ll never forget the moment I found out I was pregnant. Me running into the bedroom jumping up and down on the bed like a maniac, screaming my head off, where my husband WAS sleeping. With maybe a ’lil bit of luck of the Irish, on St. Patty’s Day 2009, after a very traumatic delivery, I gave birth to a very healthy baby boy, named Zane.

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Heather Pierce
Born and raised in NJ, Heather left with fire on her heels to attend ASU in Tempe, AZ in 1995, where she obtained a degree in art history, while minoring in both anthropology and French. While at ASU she met her husband Jake and began their loud, crazy, fun filled life together. She’s a full time corporate marketing consultant, freelance writer, is on the board for and chairs the fundraising and marketing committee for Flagstaff Arts & Leadership ACademy, and most importantly, a very hands on and fun mom to two wild boys Zane, age 9, and Van, age 4. They’ve made Flagstaff their forever home since 2010 and Is actively involved in our mountain community, lives for live music, good food and wine, reading books about real life people, and a lover of the outdoors.