Ah…expectations. We all have them, but don’t often share them. Silent expectations create so many problems in our lives and especially related to big holidays like Mother’s Day. In fact, just last night “silent expectations” led to a fight with my own mom about Mother’s Day 2018.
Here’s the deal: We all have expectations about Mother’s Day.
And while it’d be super helpful to share these expectations with our families, our rational selves often keep us from doing so. We tell ourselves things like “it’s just another day” or “a Hallmark holiday” or that “we don’t need a fuss.”
We often aren’t ASKED what we’d like to do, because let’s face it – our families want to think they KNOW what we want. And unfortunately, there’s lot of marketing out there giving really horrible ideas for Mother’s Day (at least, horrible in consideration of MY OWN expectations). The end result looks a little something like this:
Mom’s Silent Wish vs. Family’s Gift
Mom: I want to sleep in.
Family: Let’s be REALLY LOUD making a mess in the kitchen to give mom breakfast in bed! Which by the way, is NOT FUN. It’s precarious and messy and I’d much rather enjoy breakfast at the table or breakfast bar.
Mom: I want to spend some time with the kids, but not ALL my time with the kids.
Family: Let’s do a Mother’s Day craft – a really elaborate one that drives mom crazy in the process – oh, and also makes a fabulous mess (mom can clean it up on Monday).
Mom: A nice meal out could be nice.
Family: “Where do you want to eat?” asked 5 minutes before departure, followed by an hour wait at a crowded restaurant with young, impatient children.
Mom: A gift would be appreciated.
Family 1: Let’s make mom something she’ll have to find a place to put somewhere. Don’t get me wrong…every homemade gift is cherished…and stored…for eternity. 😉
Family 2: Oh look – there’s a really expensive, really cheesy necklace I can purchase! Does she wear necklaces? Never mind, this lady in the ad looks happy, mom will be happy too!
Are moms difficult to please? No.
Moms are typically just really bad at sharing their expectations. It feels selfish, shallow and ugh – just HORRIBLE to admit we want something special.
So help us out. Ask us questions. Take on the mental load for Mother’s Day. And do something that’s uniquely HER.
I can give you examples of things uniquely ME, but can’t do anything uniquely HER. That’s your job.
The first page is a questionnaire for Mom. Once she completes it, you have all the information you need to complete the rest of the packet and plan exactly what Mom wants for Mother’s Day.