There seems to be a total lack of consensus between courtesy columnists, mommy bloggers, and the ever hellish scape of Facebook mom groups about the “appropriateness” of baby showers when you are past your first child.
I am in favor. Firstly, every child is worth a celebration, as every child is a blessing and a miracle. Secondly, I’m always up for a good party, whatever the occasion. But thirdly, the more I get ready for my own baby #3 to make an appearance the more I am aware of how ridiculous it is for any family to be expected to “already have” everything they need.
Even as minimal as my family is, with two kids, we’ve had to or will need to replace a multitude of items that are going to be necessary for our new arrival. Not to mention the consumables (shampoo, diaper cream, diapers, etc.) that babies go through. Some items expire (hello expensive car seat). Some items are recalled between babies (good-bye Rock-and-Play). In our own household, we have gone through two humidifiers in the nursery. Several of our favorite board books have been…eaten, yes, eaten. Clothes that have been worn through and stained also need to be replaced and I know I have owned baby socks but where they are now is only Dobby’s guess.
Not to say that a baby shower or any kind of baby celebration (Sprinkle, Adoption Shower, Diaper Shower, Sip-and-See) is only about how many times you can convince your friends to buy you a new copy of Dear Zoo. There is definitely a sense of less excitement with subsequent pregnancies that is felt by families (You’re pregnant, again? I thought you already had three. Are you going to have more?!) However, having more than one or two babies does not make pregnancy or family life any easier or less exciting. Family life is still total chaos AND I have other kids to focus on.
This is only my third baby. The more I reflect on what our needs are the more I think of our friends with larger families who DEFINITELY need a whole shower. There should be no shame here. How can anyone be expected to keep anything baby-ready through that many kids? Meal trains as well. Don’t let your generosity peter out, because the larger the family, the more they need community support!
So we’re having a party, and we are celebrating this baby. At least I don’t have to worry about some of the big items. Our crib is at least ready to go, even if it’s full of chew marks.
What’s your take on baby showers? Let us know in the comments.