5 Reasons I’m Jealous of my Son…
1. The Tooth Fairy: Kids lose teeth for free and then get money for them. I pay thousands of dollars to have teeth removed, and don’t hear boo from that stupid fairy.
2. All You Can Eat Buffet: Children live like they are constantly on a cruise. The kitchen never seems to close. I feel lucky if I find an almond at the bottom of my purse.
3. Spa time: My son gets a bubble bath, infant massage (with special lotion), soothing sounds, and an aromatic diffuser at night. Sometimes I fall asleep with my clothes still on.
4. No obligations: If a toddler doesn’t want to be somewhere, they just run in the other direction. If they don’t want to have a talk, they scream and walk away. I’d kill for that ability to ignore social conventions and peace out when I’m no longer interested.
5. Staff: My son has a party planner, travel agent, fashion coordinator, chauffeur, and more. He calls them “Mom” and “Dad.”